counting

I have been in a mental funk on and off for the past few weeks.  From time to time I have even been feeling a little bit like crazy town USA all up in my head.  I recently started a journal and last night I started on a "woe is me" entry.  After a few moments of thought (and clarity) I changed direction and started to count my blessings.  Isn't, after all, the blessings that carry us through and not all of the other negative emotions, thoughts and feelings?  Today, I wanted to share my blessings. 

I know that, try as I might, my feelings of sadness are not going to go away overnight but I hope that if I keep seeing, counting and tallying my blessings eventually my vision will be so blurred by the good that the bad can no longer filter in. 

Here are some of the good:

The Daddy-O: 

(Yellowstone, September 2012)

 



Last night he was in the #3 spot but I realize that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have my #1 and #2-- Bug and Squish.  I really could (and should) go on and on about this guy.  I know he isn't perfect and I am not perfect and our marriage ain't perfect but he has PUT UP with me for 13+ years and I am very thankful for that.  He is an amazing provider and works endlessly to support us and to allow me to stay home full time with the boys.  He buys us toys and dreams big....our trip to Idaho, the RV, the soon-to-be boat and our 3rd child.  Shall I go on???

 

Buggy Boy Lewis

(Grangeville, Idaho, September 2012)

 

This is in birth order and not favorite order :-). 

My #1 boy.  I fought and prayed so hard to have him and here he is at four years old.  He is full of more fire than ice and more piss than vinegar but I am thankful that he is full of so much life.  He is a thinker, builder, crafter and master fort builder.  He is my lover and my mama's boy. 

 

Squishtopher Lee

(Shoshone Falls, Idaho, September 2012)

 

My #3 blessing. 

Squish is a carbon copy of his daddy.  My greatest joy is in watching this little guy ADORE his daddy.  His talks of deer hunting and his love of food and an appetite that matches his daddy kinda melts my heart a little. Okay, really it's a WHOLE BUNCH!!  He is still trying figure himself out so in the meantime he is happy to follow in Buggy's footsteps.  He is the master cuddle muffin and king of the spoon position.  I will miss the days of him lying in bed with me and when he rolls over, picks up his butt and firmly drops it into place up against my tummy. 

 

Our Peanut due to arrive October 2013.

 

My #4 joy.  We will soon know if this joy is a she or a he.  All of us in this house can't wait for that day to come.  I think we are all rooting for a she.  I was very excited for this pregnancy because I truly feel like this might be my last and I wanted to really savor every moment of this part of my life.  I think it's a great honor and miracle to grow life inside one's body.  

 

I know these four blessings of mine are the first basics for anyone.  However the last few weeks situations outside of my house, family and control have caused me to take my time and energy away from these things that I love and cherish so, so much.   It's not fair to my husband and kids that I have been, in some situations, forced to have some of these feelings.  I want to thank the Daddy-O for being a walking handkerchief when needed and ear to talk to.  I want to thank my kids for knowing I am absolutely wacky, sometimes more than others, but they walk on.  They offer a hug when needed or a good wrestling when I need to have the love beaten into me.

 

They all deserve more then what I have been lately and I hope to get past this soon so I can be that "more" for them.  My family is my everything and they deserve everthing for me!

familia

This is post is to give a big shout out to all my nieces and nephews.  You see my Buggy Boy is at the age where he is starting to yearn for a friendship.  I don't think he yet fully understands what "friendships" are but he sees the kids in the neighborhood playing and having fun and he has been graced from time to time with some playmates from our friends bringing their children over but he has never had a true and steady friend.  Cue my nieces and nephews.  They are the steady and true friendships....

 

There is an eleven year difference between Bug and my oldest niece and and just a five year difference between Bug and my youngest niece. 

 

I just assumed as my nieces and nephews grew older they would out grow the desire to play with and be interested in their younger cousins.  What I have come to witness and appreciate so much is that it appears the older my nieces and nephews get the more they enjoy my little guys.

 

I know every mom's desire to protect and shield their kids from some of the hurtful things in life can be pretty intense and sometimes life consuming so it has been very refreshing for me to not ever have to worry that my kiddos would be "some sort of baby" their older cousins wouldn't want to play with.

 

 

 

Bug and Squish love, adore, and very much cherish their "friendships" and visits with their older cousins and I very much appreciate all my nieces and nephews for taking the time to value and cherish their younger cousins.  My kids don't see age.  They see playmates and I thank the older cousins for playing along.

 



Birthday's

Alright, I know these pictures are a few months old but I figured I would share these anyways.

Bug turned four in February and just one month later Squish turned two.  I vowed back in mid 2010 when I found out that baby #2 was a boy and his due date was just a mere 19 days after Bug's birthday that I would never celebrate their birthdays together.  You see....way back then I was SO worried that Boy #2 would get his identity lost in Boy #1.  I just assumed that by having two boys, due at the same time, with the same man that these two boys would be twins just 25 months apart.  I can tell you now that isn't AT ALL TRUE.  My two are so different from each other.  Bug is clearly more like me and Squish more like his daddy. 

I decided this year when I knew it was safe that Bug would Bug and Squish would be himself that we should do a joint party for them.  Our biggest reason for doing so is because we both have families in the Phoenix region and we figured it would easiest on everyone if we did just one big birthday party.  We really enjoy the Daddy-O's extended family in Phx. so it's important to us that we try to get them to come to our gatherings.

The theme this year was vintage train.  Here is the edited version of the invitation we sent out.

 

The cakes...

 

The attire...

 

The decorations....

 

My mom was super nice and bought the kids a pinata this year.

 

I really enjoy birthday time in our house for the boys.  I really enjoy coming up with a theme, designing the invitations and planning the party.  Really though I think I need the enjoyment of party planning so I don't stop and think about what these days are really about.....my boys are getting older!

It is kind of unbelievable how fast time does fly by.