Tandem nursing

Everyone who reads my blog calls me "strange."  Every one that calls me strange and reads this blog is my family so none of this next posting will come as a surprise to you being that I am "strange."

I want to share with you my experience with tandem nursing, why I chose to do it and why I stopped. 

(Boy #1 = 25months / Boy #2 = 2 days old)

Sorry if the picture bothers you.  When I decided to tandem nurse I searched the Internet high and low looking for other mother's stories and experiences and of course I wanted to see pictures.  I wanted to see how on Earth you nurse a toddler and newborn together.  I always enjoy looking at pictures of nursing babies.  It's not because I am creepy but because I like the innocence in them.  I like seeing women do what we were designed to do and I like seeing babies get nurtured the way they were supposed to....from a mothers' breast!  I hope that when another women is wanting the same information I was looking for that they'll stumble onto my blog and hear my story and see my pictures.

I chose to tandem nurse for a few reasons.  The #1 reason was that I wanted the boys to bond together.  I figured allowing them to do this with me would form a tight bond between them. 

Reason #2:  I wasn't ready to stop nursing my first son, Bug.  I always knew I would nurse my kids.  It seems most people plan to nurse for a full year so I was committed for at least that long but I never committed to stopping right then either.  When Bug's first birthday rolled around it felt like it snuck up on me.  I wasn't ready to stop nursing him then.  He still wanted to continue and I was really enjoying that time between us.  I decided at that point I would let Bug make the decision as to when we was done.

  (Bug at 18months)

Reason #3: I enjoyed breastfeeding too much to give it up.

Reason #4: I still felt like I was supporting Bug's immune system and I didn't want that to end.

Reason #5: I couldn't stand dealing with the battle of weaning him.  I figured I would fight that fight tomorrow and I told myself that same thing every day.

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child it came as a total surprise.  Yes, we planned on having more kids but with the breastfeeding I wasn't having a cycle at all.  At the start of my pregnancy I figured I would take each day one at a time with the breastfeeding and if I suspected at all that it was causing any sort of complications for the baby I would stop but each day went fine.

I can't tell you how many crazy looks I would get from people when I told them that I was pregnant and that I was still nursing my first child and that I planned on nursing them both...together!  They thought I was crazy but really they were crazy because nobody had tried doing what I was doing and had planned on doing.  Well, everybody except for my sister Patti because she had nursed each of her children for an extended period and had even nursed some of them while pregnant.

I ended up tandem nursing for a whole five days.  The first few days went really well.  Bug was a little confused at first when I started nursing Mr. C. At that point in my nursing relationship with Bug nursing only happened at nap time and bed time so when it's past his nap time but before bed time and he sees me nursing Mr. C, he thought it was time to go to bed so he put up a little fuss.  However he quickly realized that he could join his brother and not be expected to go to bed.  The picture above is the first time I nursed the boys together.  I'll admit it was a little awkward trying to get everything situated but with the help of a boppy pillow and the football hold, it all worked out well.

Around day three is when it all started going down hill.  Bug wanted to nurse every time Mr. C did.  One big problem in that is as a new baby Mr. C nursed every two hours and when he was done he was done.  Bug on the other hand wanted to hang out.  It became very apparent then that Bug was only nursing for comfort so once Mr. C was done I'd kick Bug off too.  Soon that became a problem and Bug would break down crying wanting more "boobly" as he called it.  I just wasn't able to fulfill his need with that. 

The final blow up came in the middle of the night our first Saturday home.  At that point in our lives Bug would start the night sleeping in his bed but at some point during the night he would wake up and get into our bed and nurse on and off throughout the remainder of the night.  During this particular night Bug woke up to get into our bed to nurse.  This was fine until shortly thereafter Mr. C woke up to eat.  Up until this point Bug was fine sharing but not tonight.  So there we were in the middle of the night and Bug is crying because he wants to nurse for comfort.  Mr. C is crying because he wants to nurse for food.  Daddy is on the verge of blowing up because he wants to sleep and I am crying because I can't fix everything.  It was then at that moment that I decided I needed to stop the tandem nursing because I wasn't able to fulfill Bug's new emotional needs and feed Mr. C at the same time. 

That Sunday morning would be the last time I nursed Bug.  I decided to make the end of his nursing experience a fun one so I planned a big boy party for that day.

I made a sign....

we made hats.....

and we baked up cupcakes.  All throughout the morning I kept telling Bug that he was such a big boy and that didn't need "boobly" anymore and that "boobly" was yucky now because he was a big boy.

When nap time came....I slathered up my boobs with vinegar and told Bug again that my milk was yucky because he was a big boy now. 

 Three times is the charm!

That my folks is the secret to weaning!

Bug has never nursed again. 

I know it's been awhile.  In the beginning of being a mommy to two I was really worried about how to divide my time equally.  It really bothered me that I could no longer devote all of my free time to Bug and of course I wasn't able to give all of myself to Mr. C. like I was able to give to Bug for the first two years of his life. 

This is very much my personality....my glass is half empty.  My dear sweet husband whose glass is half full personality kindly reminded me that it could be worse.  I could be a full time working women with some daycare center raising my babies.  'Nuff said!  So, as sad as it is this blog has sort of taken the back seat in my life so I can raise my kids. 

So here's the latest....

Tonight we were visiting with Daddy's dear friends parents, Cathy and Gary.  They had four children and all  were breastfed for several years and all were home schooled.  During some of the conversations we were having tonight we talked about nursing our babies for years and homeschooling.  I know this sounds silly but I feel like I am part of an elite club of mothers.  Yes, I mean elite.  I mean elite because we believe in mid-wives, we believe in cloth diapers, we believe in nursing our babies for more than a year, we believe in co-sleeping and we believe in homeschooling.  Call us a crazy.  Call us radical.  Heck, if you are a doctor call us dangerous to the welfare of our children. 

Maybe we should be considered the radical elite!

I know that every parent considers the way they raise their babies to be the right way we just consider the way we raise our babies to be the un-industrial way.  We believe there can't be enough "natural" and nurturing in raising well rounded children.  We believe you can't kiss them enough, hug them enough, soothe them enough and share our beds enough.  

Daddy and I have discussed changing the format of this blog to share with you more of where we are at as a young family and where we plan on going with our family.  I have in the past shied away from discussing some aspects of our lives for worry over some backlash we may receive however I am truly thankful for the people in our lives and for the people on the Internet who are not shy and honest.  I feel it is these type of people that educate and that is what we want to do.  I suppose I would like to "lift the veil" so to speak and show you that we are very "normal" people trying to raise our kids in what has become an industrial, fast food, over processed society.  We want to bring back what our great-grandparents did...

We want to farm. 
We want to raise our own animals for harvest. 
We want to get back to nature. 

As Daddy likes to say...
"there is a movement going on".
and we are part of that movement! 

We are today's hippies!

Okay enough of all that.  I know you are really here for the pictures and not my tangents so here you go!

Mr. C is now almost five weeks old.  OMG!  Where have the last five weeks gone?

Bug has been the best big brother a Mother and little brother could ask for.  He wants to hold Mr. C all the time, kiss him, hug him and give him "knuckles" all the time.  It is the cutest thing. 

I must admit that I feel totally blessed to be in a house filled with boys!

Perhaps in my next posting I'll share with you my experience with tandem nursing or maybe I'll share with you the adventures of my placenta and one happy apple tree. 

Oh, what a tough decision!