Quiverfull

Ever heard of the word?  I didn't until last year and then I kind of forgot about it again until recently. 

I must admit that I feel pretty influenced by the Duggar Family.  I have never been a religious person and in fact I considered myself Agnostic for most of my life but since having my babies I've made a lot of changes in my life and I know I'll continue to make more as we travel this road.

Squish being cute-January 2012

I know the Duggar's way of life go hand-in-hand with their religion but outside of the religious aspect I really admire and look-up to how they raise their kids and the way they dress.  I thoroughly appreciate the modesty. 

I know our society is more then ever determined to express ourselves by how we dress, how we style our hair, the way we talk and who we associate ourselves with.  I know all about that first hand because that was me up until I had my babies.

Bug at the Zoo-January 2012

Now that I am a mom to two very precious little beings I want to protect them, shield them and lead then down the right path.  I want that path to be lined with high self esteem, high morals and respect.

For once they are sitting nicely together-February 2012

If I am going to be the one to lead them down that path don't I need to have that same high self esteem, high morals and respect?  I don't know if I ever could live a fully dedicated Quiverfull life.  It honestly scares me to admit to even just myself that I may be becoming religious.  I don't know if we would ever become dedicated church-goers but we can certainly hold the same high values for each one of us.

Squish February 2012

I am always struggling to either be myself which is a pant wearing, sneaker loving girl--or--a hippie hair, no make-up wearing me--or--a modest attire wearing me.  I have no idea how to really join all three. 

I really admire the modest attire as in below the knee skirt or dress wearing however I don't have the income to do a complete wardrobe transformation.

Bug-February 2012

I feel, as their mother and leader, I show respect for myself and for my husband by being modest.  By being put together.  I am not a walking billboard for other men to look at.  I am dedicated to my husband.  To my kids and to myself. 

I know everyone is scratching theirs heads wondering where the April is "they" know and I am still here--just better now.

I was talking with the hubby last night and I was telling him the story again of when I was getting my second tattoo at the age of 17 how I always told myself that I wanted to be a cool mom.  Now that I am a mom my definition of cool as changed.  I am cool not because of my tattoos and the clothes I could be wearing but because I cover myself up.  Showing any skin other then my arms is not okay. 

I kind of feel like a nut job trying to explain how I feel and why I feel this way but I look at my boys and I want nothing but the best for them and I believe that my part of the job is to be respectful of myself, of my husband and of them and I don' feel by wearing revealing or "sexy" clothes is the right thing to do.  

It's really crazy how having kids can really change people.  I never thought I was a bad person but I know now that I am even a better person because of them.  

There isn't anything I wouldn't do to give them the best shot at being the best people they can be.  I know the world could use better people.