Tandem nursing

Everyone who reads my blog calls me "strange."  Every one that calls me strange and reads this blog is my family so none of this next posting will come as a surprise to you being that I am "strange."

I want to share with you my experience with tandem nursing, why I chose to do it and why I stopped. 

(Boy #1 = 25months / Boy #2 = 2 days old)

Sorry if the picture bothers you.  When I decided to tandem nurse I searched the Internet high and low looking for other mother's stories and experiences and of course I wanted to see pictures.  I wanted to see how on Earth you nurse a toddler and newborn together.  I always enjoy looking at pictures of nursing babies.  It's not because I am creepy but because I like the innocence in them.  I like seeing women do what we were designed to do and I like seeing babies get nurtured the way they were supposed to....from a mothers' breast!  I hope that when another women is wanting the same information I was looking for that they'll stumble onto my blog and hear my story and see my pictures.

I chose to tandem nurse for a few reasons.  The #1 reason was that I wanted the boys to bond together.  I figured allowing them to do this with me would form a tight bond between them. 

Reason #2:  I wasn't ready to stop nursing my first son, Bug.  I always knew I would nurse my kids.  It seems most people plan to nurse for a full year so I was committed for at least that long but I never committed to stopping right then either.  When Bug's first birthday rolled around it felt like it snuck up on me.  I wasn't ready to stop nursing him then.  He still wanted to continue and I was really enjoying that time between us.  I decided at that point I would let Bug make the decision as to when we was done.

  (Bug at 18months)

Reason #3: I enjoyed breastfeeding too much to give it up.

Reason #4: I still felt like I was supporting Bug's immune system and I didn't want that to end.

Reason #5: I couldn't stand dealing with the battle of weaning him.  I figured I would fight that fight tomorrow and I told myself that same thing every day.

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child it came as a total surprise.  Yes, we planned on having more kids but with the breastfeeding I wasn't having a cycle at all.  At the start of my pregnancy I figured I would take each day one at a time with the breastfeeding and if I suspected at all that it was causing any sort of complications for the baby I would stop but each day went fine.

I can't tell you how many crazy looks I would get from people when I told them that I was pregnant and that I was still nursing my first child and that I planned on nursing them both...together!  They thought I was crazy but really they were crazy because nobody had tried doing what I was doing and had planned on doing.  Well, everybody except for my sister Patti because she had nursed each of her children for an extended period and had even nursed some of them while pregnant.

I ended up tandem nursing for a whole five days.  The first few days went really well.  Bug was a little confused at first when I started nursing Mr. C. At that point in my nursing relationship with Bug nursing only happened at nap time and bed time so when it's past his nap time but before bed time and he sees me nursing Mr. C, he thought it was time to go to bed so he put up a little fuss.  However he quickly realized that he could join his brother and not be expected to go to bed.  The picture above is the first time I nursed the boys together.  I'll admit it was a little awkward trying to get everything situated but with the help of a boppy pillow and the football hold, it all worked out well.

Around day three is when it all started going down hill.  Bug wanted to nurse every time Mr. C did.  One big problem in that is as a new baby Mr. C nursed every two hours and when he was done he was done.  Bug on the other hand wanted to hang out.  It became very apparent then that Bug was only nursing for comfort so once Mr. C was done I'd kick Bug off too.  Soon that became a problem and Bug would break down crying wanting more "boobly" as he called it.  I just wasn't able to fulfill his need with that. 

The final blow up came in the middle of the night our first Saturday home.  At that point in our lives Bug would start the night sleeping in his bed but at some point during the night he would wake up and get into our bed and nurse on and off throughout the remainder of the night.  During this particular night Bug woke up to get into our bed to nurse.  This was fine until shortly thereafter Mr. C woke up to eat.  Up until this point Bug was fine sharing but not tonight.  So there we were in the middle of the night and Bug is crying because he wants to nurse for comfort.  Mr. C is crying because he wants to nurse for food.  Daddy is on the verge of blowing up because he wants to sleep and I am crying because I can't fix everything.  It was then at that moment that I decided I needed to stop the tandem nursing because I wasn't able to fulfill Bug's new emotional needs and feed Mr. C at the same time. 

That Sunday morning would be the last time I nursed Bug.  I decided to make the end of his nursing experience a fun one so I planned a big boy party for that day.

I made a sign....

we made hats.....

and we baked up cupcakes.  All throughout the morning I kept telling Bug that he was such a big boy and that didn't need "boobly" anymore and that "boobly" was yucky now because he was a big boy.

When nap time came....I slathered up my boobs with vinegar and told Bug again that my milk was yucky because he was a big boy now. 

 Three times is the charm!

That my folks is the secret to weaning!

Bug has never nursed again. 

Something Interesting to Share with you!

Daddy came across this website yesterday...http://www.laurieacouture.com/category/blog/ I am not sure how, but he found it.  He asked that I read some of it over. 

The first item I read was titled "(Putting Joy Back Into) A Day in the Life of an Industrialized Child".  I found the article rather interesting so I thought I would share some portions of it with you because I feel a lot of what this women has written really represents who I am when it comes to raising my kids. 

Perhaps I should start by telling you a little about how I am raising Bug and how I will continue on with the 2nd little boy in my belly. 

-I co-sleep

 It's something I've done since the very moment I gave birth to Bug.  Co-sleeping is right for our family.  It may not be for everyone but it is for us. 

-I breastfeed

  Again, I have done this since the second I gave birth and at 34 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child I am STILL breastfeeding. 

YES, my plan is to continue to do both, with Bug & with Baby #2 once he is born. 

I understand that the majority of the population considers me to be a little "radical" because I co-sleep and I also know that I am probably considered REALLY "radical" because I plan to breastfeed two babies-one that will be 2 and the other a newborn. 

I have always taken the philosphy that Bug will stop nursing when he is ready and that he'll move out of our bed when he is ready for that as well. 

I believe that breast milk is a cure all and it contains so many healthy properties that I don't see why I should stop nursing my toddler when he is not ready. 

It's always bothered me that the society we live in expects us to start turning our new little precious babies, fresh from our womb, into independent little people as soon as we give birth to them.  I know there is probably a lot of "snickering" that goes on behind my back because of some of the choices I've made in raising my child but I also know that not one person can find anything wrong with him.  In fact, if I didn't just tell you that I co-sleep and nurse you wouldn't know. 

Okay, so here are a few parts from the article. I wanted to share them with you so that perhaps you could have a little better insight to why I do some of the things I do.

We are born, often into a frightening hospital setting, removed from our mother, who is the one person nature critically needs us to be with the most. Every nerve ending screams to be with her, and the first taste of pain and loss is felt when we are removed from mother and put in a bassinet or incubator. If a baby is a boy, the most sensitive, intimate part of his body is subjected to excruciating physical, emotional and sexual agony as the foreskin is amputated, further delivering the bond to the mother another wound. Before we are even brought home, our lives are already about pain and having to suffer the emptiness of unmet needs.

Once home, we will be put in an isolating crib, causing us to scream all the more for our mothers. We are unnaturally bottle fed liquid made in some factory, plastic in our mouths, transported in strollers and carriers and isolated in playpens and swings. We are wired to be with our mothers, we are wired to need her touch, her skin against ours, her breast milk and her emotional attunement in order for our brain and psyche to be activated, but we receive so little of her that it just can’t satiate the void. When we, two, ten 13 or 20 years later, begin to act out our pain and emptiness in ways that are self destructive or destructive to others, no one will make the connection.

Now that you have read those two paragraphs, read the one below....

Now, imagine how nature intended our lives to be: We are born into a loving family who attunes with our bliss, meets our needs and blankets us with the rapture of skin-to-skin touch, nurturing and affection. We are cherished. We are breastfed for three years, held constantly in arms our first year of life and are rarely put down. Our cries are soothed as soon as we breathe them and our connection to our mothers is warm, empathic, passionate and deep. We sleep in the family bed.

What sounds better to you? 

Yes, again you may think I am crazy but what I am doing for and with my family is right for us!

I encourage you to read the whole article and once you have done so I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

Lots of Love~SL