still waiting

Sorry, I don't have any cute pictures to share with this posting.  The camera is packed away ready to snap pictures of this little one's birth should he EVER decide to come out!

Here's a little update...

My due date with this past Friday the 25th.  I had an appointment with the midwives that afternoon and I was told I was 4cm dilated, 60% effaced and with a contraction the mid-wife was able to feel the baby's head and my membrane sack "bulge down".  Sorry if that was a little T.M.I.  I was also informed that despite my great efforts all week this little man was still in a posterior position. 

Following that appointment I had some great contractions but as it seems with every night for the past two weeks the contractions will fade out by time I go to bed. 

Last night, the 26th, as I crawled into bed around 11:30ish the contractions didn't go away and in fact I was having them every 6-7 minutes for a good 30 minutes however they must have stopped because I woke up at 12:30 to my son yelling out for his blankie because he lost it in his bed. 

By 5:30 this morning I just felt as if something wasn't right.  Both of my hips started to hurt and I could no longer get comfortable in bed.  I decided a good hot bath should help and it did--for as long as I stayed in there. 

Long story short--after a much needed melt down (or two, or three) I decided all the discomforts I was having was my form of active labor.  You see when I was pregnant with LB (also a posterior baby) my contractions started at midnight on his due date and by 1:30am my water had broke so I knew when I was in active labor.  During my 20 hour labor at the birthing center my contractions never became close enough to allow me to dilate to the final 10th cm and by time I made the call to go to TMC for the epidural my back labor was so great I couldn't take it anymore.  It would still take 4 fours of pitocin and 2 hours of pushing before I finally gave birth to LB. 

So now maybe you can see why I feel needing my contractions to be somewhere around 5 minutes apart for an hour for me to be considered "active" in labor with my membranes intact may not apply to me.  I had considered that if we waited for my membranes to rupture for me to become "active" in my labor while I was having all this discomfort then poor daddy might be delivering this little bundle on the side of the road. 

After a little going back and forth with the birthing center they decided to have me come in just to check things out.  Much to my disappointment I hadn't made any progress since I was checked on Friday.  Good thing I already had all my melt downs that morning!  Now I just wanted a brick wall to smack my head against.

So this afternoon we headed home and I started taking Evening Primrose capsules and drinking chamomile tea to help soften the rest of my cervix and perhaps make my contractions more consistent. 

I must admit that all this going back and forth with what is considered to "false labor" has really taken its toll on me and now with the constant pain in my both of my hips I do feel like I have reached my breaking point. 

I knew to expect that a posterior baby brings a longer labor however it's just extremely frustrating to feel you've made a lot of great head way when you haven't. 

Tomorrow, Monday, we are hoping to see an acupuncturist to see if she can help flip this little boy and ease by back & hip pain and once and for all throw me into active labor. 

Keep your fingers crossed that the next time you hear from me I'll the exciting news to share that we have all been waiting for!

My second unborn love...my son.

I feel bad. When I was pregnant with Bug after each and every appointment with the mid-wives I would send out an email to my family and friends giving them the most recent update. I took weekly pictures of my growing belly and I would do a weekly write-up all of which I have combined into a journal.

With my 2nd pregnancy I haven't done any of that. It's not that I don't want to it just all really boils down to what I like to call "mommy brain". I experienced the absent minded mind when I was pregnant with Bug and since he's been born it's only been magnified. Now that I am pregnant again AND I have a toddler I might as well not have a brain at all. It's really quite bad and I am not exaggerating.

I really want to take the weekly photos with the weekly write-ups and email you after each and every appointment with the midwives but I just plain ol' forget....all but a few times now.

I also try to remind myself that with this pregnancy I have a toddler that I am chasing after that I obviously didn't have with the first pregnancy and I have also taken on (gladly) a new passion and hobby-SEWING. So creating new little treasures takes some additional time. However, I still have some guilt. So I thought by doing a good long blog posting all about this little love growing in my belly will ease some of my guilt and get you all up-to-date on how everything has been going.

All of you know that we had some trouble getting pregnant with Bug. In fact after exhausting most, if not all, natural remedies for infertility we went to see Dr. Hutchison at Reproductive Health Center. It was the best decision we made because not only did we get to work with a great man but our son was conceived out of the process. My husband and I decided after Bug was born not to use any hormonal forms of birth control because we feel, and it's not the opinion or advice from anyone else, that taking such birth control contributed to some of my problems.

After about month three or four after Bug was born the idea of birth control went out the door to make way for the natural family planning. We really anticipated, expected and planned to go back to Dr. Hutchison for help in conceiving number 2. We wanted the kids to be two years apart but honestly when it came time to really try for #2 I sort of backed away from the idea. I was really enjoying my time with Bug and I didn't know (yet) how I could love two babies as much I loved my one.

We were at a pool party at my sister's house the last weekend in June and my husband and sister were having the conversation on when we would try for number two. My husband had expressed a little remorse that we missed the window of opportunity to keep the kids two years apart because I wasn't really ready and my body wasn't showing any signs of being ready either. I let you decide what that means :-)

The following Friday I took two naps that day. It wasn't uncommon for me to take a nap with Bug here and there but TWO naps in one day was unheard of. The next day, Saturday, I was outside painting when I suddenly became nauseous. Once it passed I developed this intense craving for Subway's chicken noodle soup something I craved when I was pregnant with Bug. And just like that the freight train hit me.

Two naps+nauseous+craving Subway's chicken noodle soup=HOLY CRAP I'M PREGNANT.

I wasn't really convinced because I didn't think it was possible yet. I jokingly made a comment to my husband about what I was thinking and he kind of had the same feelings. We joked on and off about it throughout the day and he even asked to buy me a pregnancy test. I told him that I didn't yet want to take one because after seeing a thousand negative pregnancy tests before with Bug it leaves you with a really bad sting. So although I wasn't sure I wanted to be pregnant yet I also didn't want to experience the same disappointment if I wasn't.

However, my thoughts quickly changed and come Sunday morning, July 4th, I asked my husband to pick me up a Starbucks coffee (in case it turned out to be my last for awhile) and a pregnancy test.

Let me tell you this--I have never seen a pregnancy test turn positive so quickly in my life! At first I cried. They were tears of happiness but mostly shock. I was lost for words. As much as I suspected I was pregnant I also felt that being pregnant naturally was too good to be true. And to be honest there was some worry in there. I was worried and sad that I couldn't give this child the same kind of love I do Bug. With Bug I felt like he healed the hole I had in my heart caused by the struggles to have him so if my heart was healed how much could I give this next one. I know I may sound a little cold but this was the honest to god worries I had. I did my best to keep these feelings to myself for fear of what others would think and only my husband really knew how I felt and he was quick to tell me I was crazy and that I would love both babies the same-no matter what.

July

My first prenatal appointment was in August. I expected it to be too early in the pregnancy to hear the baby's heartbeat but as it turns out it wasn't. On the first shot there it was that peaceful sound of the precious swooshing heartbeat. I cried. I cried tears of happiness. Tears of joy. Tears that meant relief. Hearing that heartbeat was what I needed to know that I would love this baby just as much as Bug. I would get the joy of saying "my kids." The joy of telling people I had a big boy at home who had a little sibling. I get the joy of having a 2nd pregnancy and a second child all over again. I loved being pregnant with Bug, laboring with Bug, delivering Bug and now raising Bug and I was now given the blessing to do it all over again with a new precious love.

August

My husband and I are pretty sure I became pregnant on Father's Day but because I didn't have a concrete time in which I conceived the mid-wives had me go in for an ultrasound to better age the baby. According to the measurements and statistics I was given the due date of February 25th. My husband and I are still convinced that this baby will come in March. I live by the theory that when my water breaks this baby will be born sometime in the next 24 hours (I hope).

I laugh thinking back to the conversation my sister and husband were having. How he was sad we missed the mark to have the kids two years apart. If the ultrasound was right then the babies will be two years and three weeks apart. Not bad timing for two people who weren't trying nor expecting to get pregnant on our own.

September

I had a second ultrasound not along after the first just to check on the progress of this growing blessing. I told myself because we were given a boy the first time and the pressure of having that boy was removed I wanted to wait to find out who this was in me. However, upon seeing all of the adorable girl clothes I could be making I caved the day of the ultrasound and asked to see.

At the ultrasound appointment

Taken courtesy of Bug

Can you see the excitement of my face?

The ultrasound confirmed that we would be having another BOY! As much as I was wanting a little girl to make all sorts of cute tutus for I was also equally thrilled to be having another boy. I have a boy already. I know them. I know what to do with them. I feel like I am a Mom to boys and it seems someone has agreed. Although baby #2 is not even here yet I and can't stop thinking about #3. I want Daddy to get his girl. I think I need a girl. Our home will need a girl to soften my two rugged, dirty, nose picking boys. I need a girl to help me keep these boys in line, Daddy included. We could all use a little softening from a sweet little girl we will call Savannah.

With my pregnancy with Bug I really don't have any complaints. It was a pretty easy pregnancy. With this one I was more nauseous in my first trimester then what I remember having with Bug. Fortunately, I never became sick with either pregnancy. With Bug I developed one varicose vein due to the extra weight pushing on my lower extremities. With this pregnancy the varicose vein I had with Bug returned almost immediately and then a large portion of my veins on my legs and right ankle started popping but none are called "varicose", thankfully. At this point there hasn't been a whole lot to worry about just as long as I don't sit for extended period of times because that could lead to blood cots. I caved and bought a compression sock last Friday. My right ankle started to give me a little more discomfort, which was manageable, but I didn't want the problem to become worse. Buying that compression sock was the BEST thing I did. I love the relief my leg gets.

My old lady ankle before the compression sock

                                                                 My sexy sock

                                                                      October

With Bug I took a medication to control my insulin. I started taking it before I became pregnant because we had reason to believe that an elevated insulin level was to blame for my infertility. I decided to quit taking that medication after Bug was born to see what my body was able to do naturally. I also exercised and had a pretty strict diet all in order to get pregnant and keep the pregnancy. With this pregnancy I've done pretty much none of that. I tried to exercise in the beginning but it was getting to hard to get up every morning and leave the house without waking Bug.

November (I'm teasing my sister)

With this pregnancy, and with Bug, I haven't really craved much of anything. I really became a big fan of green olives this time around. Growing up I always hated them but a few years ago I decided they weren't that bad but I still never ate them the way I've been eating them now. Sugar. That is something I've been enjoying a little too much of. With being a work-at-home mom my diet consists of eating what I want when I want it and if we have it. If we don't have it then chocolate will substitute. Orange juice is also a must. I pretty much need a glass every morning to get me going and sometimes it feels like I can't get enough of it.

December (sorting beans)

At the start of this pregnancy I weighed 123lbs. As of last Friday at 34 weeks I weighed 144.2lbs. I gained a total of 20lbs with Bug and I expected to gain more weight with this one due to the lack of a proper diet and the exercise. Frankly, though since I became a mom I now feel like I a mom and that is what I need to worry about. Not wearing the latest trends in clothing, having freshly polished nails and seeing the hairdresser for a touch-up monthly. It actually took me to become a mom to feel more secure about who I am and how I look. Of course I still want to look pretty for my husband and I do but I no longer feel like I need all of the aesthetic material things to be pretty. I am pretty simple because I am mom and I made my husband a father.

With only 5.5 weeks to go and a whole lot of stuff I want to get done before this little boy arrives I certainly feel like the count down is on and he'll be here before we all know it. I am so looking forward to seeing my husband's face light up when he witnesses the birth of his son. Another boy to help carry on the last name. I am so looking forward to seeing my father's face and my father-in-law's face light up as they witness the birth of another generation. Another generation to carry on the things they'll teach him about being a boy. All of the wonderful things Bug has been able to enjoy. I am so looking forward to watching my son transform from an only child to a super proud big brother. A job I know he'll do great at because he's already been practicing with his dolls. I am so looking forward to being able to love and raise another sweet boy the way I've been raising Bug.

 Currently at 34 weeks

I'm proud and honored that I have been blessed with two sons to help make this a better place to live in.

I am blessed to be given another sweet child to make me a better person.

Another sweet child to show me how to love deeper and more passionate then what I thought was possible.

Another sweet child to fill up another hole in my heart that I didn't know I had until I heard his heartbeat.

Another sweet child to fill this house with mischievous filled giggles.

Another sweet child to sit back and watch in pure amazement knowing that he is half of me.

My torpedo belly

I can't wait to share him with all of you!

Lots of Love~SL

I caved....

I want it to be known that I was the one who caved and not Daddy.  As much as I would have like to of waited until the birth of this little baby to see if it was a girl or a boy I just couldn't do it.  I am hundred percent sure I am having a girl and I really, really wanted to make a little tutu and baby blanket but I was afraid to make them now and have a little boy pop out.  I also knew that if I waited until after the baby was born to verify it was a girl I would never make the tutu and blanket because there just wouldn't be anytime to after caring for a new baby and chasing a toddler around. 

So the verdict is in....

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

Needless to say I was a bit shocked because I was really expecting to find out that I was caring our little Savannah around.  I would have loved our little girl with the same passion that I love our little LB with but in my heart I always felt like I was a mom to boys and it seems someone above agreed.  

Daddy and I have gone back and forth on the names for a boy should we of been blessed with another one and the latest name is....

Carsen

We feel like LB's name is such a strong name that we wanted to have another strong name to follow suit and of course we are continuing with the "L" themed middle name.

The "L" middle names started as far back as Daddy's great-grandparents on his dad's side of the family and we think it's important to carry on as much tradition as possible. 

Congratulations to our current little man who is going to be a big brother to a new little man!  I feel so completely blessed as a person, as a women, as a wife and as a mother.  Life couldn't get any better!

Update on Peanut

As you know by now LB is going to be a BIG brother AND now have the proof to share.

The birthing center wanted me to have an early ultrasound done to better date the pregnancy.  We were quickly squeezed in on Wednesday before we left town for our first family vacation.  I'll share that adventure and those pictures with you in the next posting.

Here is our little Olive as we are calling she/he for the moment.  From head to rump the baby measures under 3 inches.  At the time of this ultrasound I was estimated to be about 12 weeks and 5 days however those 5 days could be added onto by another 5 days or subtracted by 5.  So, today that puts me somewhere between 13.5 weeks and 14 weeks.  My estimated due date is February 25th!

Get this...my father-in-laws birthday is February 23rd, then I have two nephews and a brother-in-laws' birthday's that fall on the 24th, 26th and 28th.  February is FULL of birthdays now!

I don't know about you but I was absolutely amazed to see something so tiny looking so human like. I was in awe the whole time-mouth hanging open catching flies-kind of awe!

Truthfully, when I first found out I was pregnant I became worried over how could I love this baby as much as I love LB.  How could I divide my time between the two babies?  But after hearing the heartbeat two weeks ago and then actually seeing this little baby happily growing in my belly I quickly fell in love with it and just knew I could love this baby as much as I do LB.

I am off for now.  I can hear my bed and pillow calling my name!

Made

Despite Peanut not making me feel so well I have persevered and kept busy today. 

First on the task list was to complete my long awaited peg bag.  After searching the Internet high and low for a peg bag pattern I really liked I finally came across this one. However, the size of it was a tad too small so I took the opportunity to make my own pattern using their basic ideas.  Now I know my sewing skills are basic at best but I am slowly getting better.  Although it's times like this in my life that I really feel cheated not having ever had the opportunity to take a home economic class.

Daddy even pitched in and helped sew up the last edge on the bag.

 Next up on the task list was to make a delicious cream of mushroom soup.  For any of you that really know me know that I pretty much can't stand mushrooms.  I have tried over the years to like them but it's never been more successful beyond a bite or two. 

I made this soup because I like to cook pork chops in a slow cooker with a can of cream of mushroom soup and pinch of sage.  In my endeavor to end my addiction to can goods and BPA it was time that I set out to make my own soup.  The recipe was super easy and super delicious.  I can't believe that I would ever say that about a mushroom based soup but I highly recommend that you all try this recipe.  Sorry I don't have a picture to share.  It didn't cross my mind to take one until after the whole mess was cleaned up.

The third task was to watch my dear sweet LB enjoy his first mango pop.  I whipped up this quick and easy recipe last night so he could enjoy it today and boy did he ENJOY IT!.

The last thing made today was this....

Holy belly!  Where did that thing come from?  I'll be seven weeks tomorrow and I can't believe I am already sportin' the pooch.  I have hopped on the scale daily now and I haven't gained a pound it but you wouldn't know it by looking at me.  I told Daddy that I am convinced we are having twins.  One boy and one girl--Savannah Louise and ? Lyle.  We are completely undecided on a first name for our boy and Daddy isn't so sure about Louise for Savannah's middle name but I figured he had the finally say in LB's first name so I am making the final call in Savannah's middle name. 

For a boy name I have toyed with (but Daddy isn't so sure of).....

Hudson Lyle

Hudson Michael Lyle

Austin Lyle

Austin Michael Lyle

Do you have any suggestions?

Lots of Love~SL