Autumn, are you here yet?

If anyone else is up before six A.M. have you noticed the few hints of autumn in the air?  I am and I have and it makes M.I.S.S. Idaho big time!!  If we could sell everything and pack up our parents we would move there in a heartbeat!  

 

To help us deal with the misery of this southern Arizona heat we've been attempting to be at the lake as often as possible.  To end the "lake season" we spent a long weekend there over Labor Day with my sister and her family and friends.

 

 

I am a bit sad that the lake season has come to an end for us but given I am barely able to get on the boat these days at 32 weeks pregnant it is probably good thing we are calling it now before I get stuck in the water.

 

In other news we are starting the preparations for this little lady to join our lives.  The biggest preparation for me has been celebrating Squishy's transition into a Big Boy.  We started by transforming his room from a play room to his room complete with a twin bed.  The next step was having a "party" to celebrate his end of nursing.

 

It's been a little tough for us (Squish and myself) but after a few bumps, or really close snuggle time when no one was paying attention, but I think we are finally there.  I have nursed a child for four and a half years straight so it is a bit strange to have this brief pause.

 

saying goodbye

 

We lost a doggie companion recently.  This old gal had been with us for many, many years and her age really started to show over the last and recently she was giving us that look that told us she was ready to go home. 

 

It's never easy saying goodbye.

pouring lemonade

We all have heard these two expressions....when it rains it pours and when life hands you lemons...!  Well for the past few weeks we have been struggling to keep up with the overflow of lemons while standing in the pouring rain. 

Okay, so life for us isn't that bad.  Events, out of our control and that completely blindsided us, have caused us to look and take a new direction in life.  We have always been given the means to pick up pieces and move on and this latest snafu won't be any different.  We just need some time and money.  That's all :-)

On the bright side... just before the poop hit the fan we bought a boat.  Being at the lake on a boat has always brought a lot of joy to us and since we will soon be a family of five it was time for us to take the plunge and buy one. 

 

It's a very comfortable deck boat with full bimins which was a major plus for us.

 

But....wanna know what's better then having a boat....

A sister who buys one too.  Hee, hee, hee!

 

Wanna know what's better then that?

The pure happiness our kids have when we are at lake. 

The only frown to be found is when it's time to leave.

 

We truly love and enjoy our time at the lakes.  Two weeks ago it was Roosevelt and this past weekend it was Apache. 

 

For us it's a great way to cool off and reconnect as a family again with few to no distractions.

 

Here's a little bump action on the boat too.

 

I promise, one day soon, I'll do a baby update.

counting

I have been in a mental funk on and off for the past few weeks.  From time to time I have even been feeling a little bit like crazy town USA all up in my head.  I recently started a journal and last night I started on a "woe is me" entry.  After a few moments of thought (and clarity) I changed direction and started to count my blessings.  Isn't, after all, the blessings that carry us through and not all of the other negative emotions, thoughts and feelings?  Today, I wanted to share my blessings. 

I know that, try as I might, my feelings of sadness are not going to go away overnight but I hope that if I keep seeing, counting and tallying my blessings eventually my vision will be so blurred by the good that the bad can no longer filter in. 

Here are some of the good:

The Daddy-O: 

(Yellowstone, September 2012)

 



Last night he was in the #3 spot but I realize that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have my #1 and #2-- Bug and Squish.  I really could (and should) go on and on about this guy.  I know he isn't perfect and I am not perfect and our marriage ain't perfect but he has PUT UP with me for 13+ years and I am very thankful for that.  He is an amazing provider and works endlessly to support us and to allow me to stay home full time with the boys.  He buys us toys and dreams big....our trip to Idaho, the RV, the soon-to-be boat and our 3rd child.  Shall I go on???

 

Buggy Boy Lewis

(Grangeville, Idaho, September 2012)

 

This is in birth order and not favorite order :-). 

My #1 boy.  I fought and prayed so hard to have him and here he is at four years old.  He is full of more fire than ice and more piss than vinegar but I am thankful that he is full of so much life.  He is a thinker, builder, crafter and master fort builder.  He is my lover and my mama's boy. 

 

Squishtopher Lee

(Shoshone Falls, Idaho, September 2012)

 

My #3 blessing. 

Squish is a carbon copy of his daddy.  My greatest joy is in watching this little guy ADORE his daddy.  His talks of deer hunting and his love of food and an appetite that matches his daddy kinda melts my heart a little. Okay, really it's a WHOLE BUNCH!!  He is still trying figure himself out so in the meantime he is happy to follow in Buggy's footsteps.  He is the master cuddle muffin and king of the spoon position.  I will miss the days of him lying in bed with me and when he rolls over, picks up his butt and firmly drops it into place up against my tummy. 

 

Our Peanut due to arrive October 2013.

 

My #4 joy.  We will soon know if this joy is a she or a he.  All of us in this house can't wait for that day to come.  I think we are all rooting for a she.  I was very excited for this pregnancy because I truly feel like this might be my last and I wanted to really savor every moment of this part of my life.  I think it's a great honor and miracle to grow life inside one's body.  

 

I know these four blessings of mine are the first basics for anyone.  However the last few weeks situations outside of my house, family and control have caused me to take my time and energy away from these things that I love and cherish so, so much.   It's not fair to my husband and kids that I have been, in some situations, forced to have some of these feelings.  I want to thank the Daddy-O for being a walking handkerchief when needed and ear to talk to.  I want to thank my kids for knowing I am absolutely wacky, sometimes more than others, but they walk on.  They offer a hug when needed or a good wrestling when I need to have the love beaten into me.

 

They all deserve more then what I have been lately and I hope to get past this soon so I can be that "more" for them.  My family is my everything and they deserve everthing for me!

familia

This is post is to give a big shout out to all my nieces and nephews.  You see my Buggy Boy is at the age where he is starting to yearn for a friendship.  I don't think he yet fully understands what "friendships" are but he sees the kids in the neighborhood playing and having fun and he has been graced from time to time with some playmates from our friends bringing their children over but he has never had a true and steady friend.  Cue my nieces and nephews.  They are the steady and true friendships....

 

There is an eleven year difference between Bug and my oldest niece and and just a five year difference between Bug and my youngest niece. 

 

I just assumed as my nieces and nephews grew older they would out grow the desire to play with and be interested in their younger cousins.  What I have come to witness and appreciate so much is that it appears the older my nieces and nephews get the more they enjoy my little guys.

 

I know every mom's desire to protect and shield their kids from some of the hurtful things in life can be pretty intense and sometimes life consuming so it has been very refreshing for me to not ever have to worry that my kiddos would be "some sort of baby" their older cousins wouldn't want to play with.

 

 

 

Bug and Squish love, adore, and very much cherish their "friendships" and visits with their older cousins and I very much appreciate all my nieces and nephews for taking the time to value and cherish their younger cousins.  My kids don't see age.  They see playmates and I thank the older cousins for playing along.

 



Birthday's

Alright, I know these pictures are a few months old but I figured I would share these anyways.

Bug turned four in February and just one month later Squish turned two.  I vowed back in mid 2010 when I found out that baby #2 was a boy and his due date was just a mere 19 days after Bug's birthday that I would never celebrate their birthdays together.  You see....way back then I was SO worried that Boy #2 would get his identity lost in Boy #1.  I just assumed that by having two boys, due at the same time, with the same man that these two boys would be twins just 25 months apart.  I can tell you now that isn't AT ALL TRUE.  My two are so different from each other.  Bug is clearly more like me and Squish more like his daddy. 

I decided this year when I knew it was safe that Bug would Bug and Squish would be himself that we should do a joint party for them.  Our biggest reason for doing so is because we both have families in the Phoenix region and we figured it would easiest on everyone if we did just one big birthday party.  We really enjoy the Daddy-O's extended family in Phx. so it's important to us that we try to get them to come to our gatherings.

The theme this year was vintage train.  Here is the edited version of the invitation we sent out.

 

The cakes...

 

The attire...

 

The decorations....

 

My mom was super nice and bought the kids a pinata this year.

 

I really enjoy birthday time in our house for the boys.  I really enjoy coming up with a theme, designing the invitations and planning the party.  Really though I think I need the enjoyment of party planning so I don't stop and think about what these days are really about.....my boys are getting older!

It is kind of unbelievable how fast time does fly by. 

 

Finally...an update.

This is the 3rd post I have started in recent days.  Perhaps this will be the one that gets posted.  Officially. 

All posts are a cleansing of sorts but the last two were a bit deeper and after re-reading them I thought perhaps they might be too much to post.  Sometimes I get a bit "Dear Diary-ish" on here and I realize that can get me in trouble.  I would like to be more real on here then what I can be however I know I can't.  I suppose that is what a good pen and pad of paper are for or even perhaps a husband is for.

Something I can share though is....M.O.P.S.!  I mentioned M.O.P.S. on here a few times now.  I know I have only been to two meetings but I have really enjoyed the context of the meetings and the fellowship with the other ladies.  Afterwards, I feel happy and refreshed.

There is a reason to why I was called to M.O.P.S. again.   At my first meeting the topic was about taming the monster mom within and this past meeting was with Pastor Robin talking about the Love and Logic course she teaches.  Both meetings were exactly what I needed.  With Baby #3 on the way we are going to need some guidance on how to handle the upcoming changes. 

A week from tomorrow will be the last M.O.P.S. meeting for this session.  I am super bummed.  To keep the good vibes and happy feelings rolling this way I am going to enroll Bug, Squish and myself into summer activities at the church where M.O.P.S is held at. 

I feel so good, so calmed, and so at peace when I am with this M.O.P.S. group that I hope by attending this church and getting involved in their family centered activities that I can keep the calm rolling in. 

A day of dress-up for Squish and Bug.



 A morning in the sun painting.

 

My salami loving boy.

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