I was born in a pretty traditional home life (for the most part). My dad was self employed as a roofer. He was gone from before the sun came up and always home at five for dinner. My mom played the part of a stay-at-home mom/secretary of the family business. My sister's and I all attended public schools from kindergarten through high school. Eduction was to be had but never really encouraged beyond what the school laid out for us. College, if we wanted that...great, but again nothing was encouraged or discouraged. Neither one of my parents had an education beyond high school but they were still successful with their business so I guess in their eyes you didn't need more then 13 years worth of an education to make it in life.
Somewhere around the first grade I was told my school wanted to hold me back a grade because they thought I had a "learning disability." It never happened but I still held that stigma of being told I was "learning disabled." I was embarrassed and ashamed. It wasn't until high school that I started to look at "my learning problem" with a different eye...
Do I have a learning disability? I don't know
I don't do well being told to sit at that desk and memorize this, that, or the other for the next 55 minutes and then you'll be tested at the end of the day or week on just how well you've retained that information that was just force fed to you. Thank God the AIMS testing started after I graduated or I never would have. I learn and retain things when I get the ability to do it from the hands-on approach. I learn from being able to fail or succeed. I learn from being able to see how things go together because I did it and not told to do it.
High school was miserable for me. Nothing good came from it except for the day I graduated and left all those people behind. From day one of my freshman year I was picked-on and bullied. I resorted to drinking, smoking and cutting to help manage my mental anguish and it wasn't until I started playing their own game by spreading rumors around school about myself that it all stopped. They finally saw that I didn't care and they moved onto another innocent victim.
Truthfully, I had a strong interest in continuing my education after high school. I really enjoy the human anatomy and I wanted to become a forensic pathologist but the bad aftertaste I had in my mouth from high school stopped me from pursuing that. Because of my experiences in high school (and some in middle school) education, to me, became equated with pain and misery. It was something I didn't enjoy so why would I want to do more of it.
I knew from the moment that I became a mom that I would never send my kids to public school or any other school institution for that matter. I loved my kids too much to sit back and wait and watch the same misery happen to them that happened to me.
Home school still has a negative stigma attached to it and I am not sure why. Often when we are asked or it's mentioned about our oldest nearing kindergarten age when he'll start and we inform those people that he won't be, we are then issued the same standard look that says we are crazy but without the words. Nothing good is ever reported about public education so why do
WE get the crazy look?
Fortunately, I have an older sister who sees things the same way I do and has home schooled her three kids from the start. Her oldest is 16 and will start taking college courses soon. When I talk to her about the negative vibes we get from others and along with the typical question of "Well, what about socializing your kids? Aren't you concerned they won't know how to interact with their peers?" Her answer is..."Why would I want my kids to socialize with
those kids?"
This morning a headline on the January 2014 issue of the Reader's Digest caught my eye. It read..."Imagine The School of Your Dreams" My ears perked up and I thumbed through the magazine until I saw the article titled " School Is A Prison and Damages Our Kids."
You can read it
HERE and you should!
I think I am going to make numerous copies of this story and carry it in my purse so the next time I get the crazy look I will just hand them this article.
In the article it points out... "the blueprint still used for today’s schools was developed during the Protestant Reformation, when schools were created to teach children to read the Bible, to believe scripture without questioning it,
and to obey authority figures without questioning them. "
It goes on to say...."
The early founders of schools were quite clear about this in their writings. The idea that schools might be places for nurturing critical thought, creativity, self-initiative or ability to learn on one’s own — the kinds of skills most needed for success in today’s economy — was the furthest thing from their minds. To them, willfulness was sinfulness, to be drilled or beaten out of children, not encouraged."
And then...."When schools were taken over by the state and made compulsory, and directed toward secular ends, the basic structure and methods of schooling remained unchanged. Subsequent attempts at reform have failed because, though they have tinkered some with the structure, they haven’t altered the basic blueprint. The top-down, teach-and-test method, in which
learning is motivated by a system of rewards and punishments rather than by curiosity or by any real, felt desire to know, is well designed for indoctrination and obedience training but not much else."
This is why I have a real big problem with the public education system. What they want and what they demand from my children are not the same things that I want and expect from them. I don't want them to be indoctrinated by the government for their own needs. I want them to question authority (in a respectful way). I want them to enjoy learning and I don't feel like you can enjoy it when you are expected to pass a test with flying colors so the school looks better on paper. Our schools, and not necessarily the teachers, don't care about our kids.
My oldest will be five in February. Most people think he should have already been put in the public education system through preschool. I have tried to sit down and start a formal education plan with him but he rebels...bad. When he knows he is being worked he shuts down. It isn't fun for him. I have started to "school" him in a more un-schooling way. I follow his lead and look for all the teachable moments that I can. At his age he knows how to use a kitchen knife (and I am not talking about a butter knife--that's child's play). He is learning about butchering. He knows a fair amount of both the human and animal anatomy. He is learning fractions from cooking. He is learning that his food doesn't come from just a grocery store. He is learning
REAL real world experiences. Not just test taking.
Most importantly, in my schooling adventure, I don't do the helicopter parent with them. I do have boundaries with them, of course. Sometimes mine may appear invisible to outsiders. I parent by letting my kids be. I let them fail. I let them fall. I let them learn with natural consequences. I let them free roam in the back yard where I know trouble is to be had because there are just some things I can't teach them and those are the things they need to learn on their own with failures and successes.
